What do I want to be when I grow up?

So a few posts ago I wrote about finding my voice. Well now I have to decide what I want to do with that voice, and if I am good enough to do anything with it. Working at Expert Comics has got me writing. Reading the articles I can tell when I am doing some decent writing and when the writing is so bad I can't even read it. I think my best articles are the interviews. I think I think I can say that with confidence. I am especially proud of my interview with the developers from Project Lodus . I like to have someone to bounce things off of, and working with creative and passionate people brings out the best in me. So is that what I want to do? Do interviews? I look at my reviews and articles and I think boring. I don't know if it is just that I am not that interesting or if it is just me? Do I want to do op-ed pieces? Do I want to try writing a book? I just don't know. I know that I don't like what I am doing at my day job. But I don't know how to parlay my writing into a paying gig, or if I am even good enough to do it. We write articles for Expert and we maybe get one comment on the article that we write. So I have no idea how I am doing really. I don't want comments as a means to an ego boost, but to use them to see what people like, what they don't like. I mean my degree is in IT, not English. So I am kind of lagging behind in that respect. I don't have any formal writing training. I wrote papers in school, but I hated doing them then, so maybe that is a bad sign. But then again, that was about subjects that I really did not care for.
I have been asking around about web hosts, and I am really interested in doing podcasts. Of course I know nothing about doing these either. Like I said learning on the job. So lets see my list of to do things, consists of learning how to write better, getting a website, learning how to podcast, figuring out how I can make money with all of this. Easy peasey right? It is probably not the smartest thing to do, considering a career change at 41 years of age. It would be different if I just had to worry about myself, but I have a wife to support and cats that get very angry when they are not fed on time. So for now I am working on building contacts and relationships through Twitter. I am trying to learn from these people that are on the path to where I want to be. I know it sounds cliché, but I don’t want to be one of those people who hates their job and wonders what if I would have only done this or that. I actually want to be happy in what I am doing. I think it would translate into other aspects of my life as well and make me a lot happier. I find myself being really angry lately, especially while at and leaving work. A change needs to be definitely made. So right now I am a rudderless ship looking for somewhere to land. Hopefully I will find land soon.

15 years

This is going to be a different post than usual.

How our anniversaries go. No money to go anywhere to get anything. We have to wait a week to do anything, yet this woman still stays with me. I am not quite sure why. I am not good looking, I make average pay, yet she still loves me. It is one of lifes great mysteries. We have been married for fifteen years today. People said it would not last. It has been the best thing that has ever happened to me. I did not date in school. I only dated one other girl, and that did not really count. It was only two dates, and she moved away. So she has been it. She saw through my faults. She saw through this person who was a manager at Wendys at the time and asked me out. Yep, you heard that right. SHE asked ME out. I was not exactly a ladies man, as I have mentioned, so asking a girl out was out of the question, but SHE asked ME out. She took a chance on me. I am not exactly sure what she saw in me. We have been together through a lot. Me getting laid off three times, having to move to Kentucky for six years and coming back to Michigan to live in my sister’s basement for a year. Still she is here. I guess you could call her a glutton for punishment. I may not be able to provide her with a huge house or jewelry, but I can be there for her. I was there when her brother passed unexpectedly. I was there when her Aunt passed. So that I can do, I can provide support. I can provide a shoulder to cry on. In the long run I figure that means more than material things. She has made me a better person. I am really not sure where I would be if we had not gotten together. I was working a dead end job at Wendys. As I mentioned no girlfriend, so I figured I was going to be on my own for the rest of my life. Then she came into my life. I quit Wendys. Got a job with EDS as tech support, making twice what I was at Wendys. I am not sure I would have had the courage to quit Wendys. I had been there for a long time. But now I had someone else besides myself to look out for. I knew I had to find something better. It has not been easy. EDS closed down the offices up here and moved everyone down to Kentucky. So it was either follow or have no job, so we packed up the truck and moved to Lexington. Where after a couple of years down there I got laid off from there, twice, so we ended up moving back home to Michigan to live in my sister’s basement. If I was going to be unemployed, might as well do it around family. Still she was there. I went through a couple different jobs, but I think I have finally found one that is going to stick. *crosses fingers* Still she is with me. This 41 year old man that collects comics, likes all things nerd, she is still there. What more can I ask for. At the end of the day we are there for each other and that is all that matters. Material things come and go, but the bond endures. I love you Jen.